Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Snow day!

There are few things in life as perfect as a snow day. You probably don't remember, because a snow day is a thrill for the school-aged, and if you are reading this, you're probably- how shall I say this - old. Let me take you back....

1. It's getting cold. Stupid English project that I was assigned two weeks ago is due tomorrow. GOD, I hate English! What's it even about? Two weeks is a long time to remember a stupid English assignment, and that was when John made out with Christina at that party I couldn't go to because I was grounded because I skipped fifth period to hang out in the bathroom with Sandra and Kim and talk about what a skank Elisa is. Damn, it's cold as hell in here! I hate my parents for not turning the heat high enough!

2. Spent all night in front of the tv watching reruns and talking on the phone, except for when mom made me empty the dishwasher AND do my own laundry AND take out the garbage. I hate her! The news kept breaking in to my shows to tell about a storm system coming down from the North Pole or somewhere. It's going to be really cold tomorrow, with sleet and snow and ice even! They call it 'winter mix'. Maybe that's what we should call the sophomore dance! We could all dress up in white and eat snow cones (spiked with Everclear?) and set up little sleds on the gym floor. We could have an ice sculpture shaped like my English teacher and watch it melt like the Wicked Witch of the West - COOL!

3. The news is saying it's going to be TREACHEROUS tomorrow morning! They are saying DANGEROUS CONDITIONS will exist for the morning commute, and that travel will be HAZARDOUS and that you could have a wreck and DIE!!!! This is FANTASTIC!!! Could it be? Dare I dream?

4. The IDIOT school district said they will wait until 5:45 in the morning to decide whether or not to have a snow day. GOD!!! They are so stupid!!!!!!!!! You could DIE if you go to school tomorrow! Do they want you to DIE? I hate school! Brenda says she bets they will have school, because they always do, even if you could die. She wants to know if she can copy the essay part of the stupid English project in 1st period so that she can turn it in 3rd. I'd better get started.

5. Kenny called. I love him so much!!!! He said that if we have a snow day he'll get Brandon to drive him to the park and we can meet up at the train trestle. I'll call Scheleen so that Brandon will have someone to be with. She likes him ok. Snow day! Snow day! GOD, I hope we have a snow day! I won't hope so that I won't jinx it, and then I'll be surprised if we do have one. I hope we do, I hope we do! Snow day! Maybe I will pray tonight...

And then, you wake up, tired and cranky, a unique feeling of dread and resignation flooding your senses even before you open your eyes. You hit snooze and lie there, listening to the sounds of...nothing. A strange silence mutes the normal morning noises. Your nose is cold, but you are warm under the covers. You shuffle out to the living room and turn on the tv. Look at all the school closings! They show each school district on the screen for 15 seconds, and you have just missed yours, because they are listed alphabetically. Ellis ISD. Erath ISD. Esher ISD. Ferris Beuller ISD. They crawl by. It's cold on the floor, in the dark, the only light coming from the TV, flickering, otherworldly, unnatural. Jackson ISD. Jarret ISD. Jim Jones ISD. Delicious, unabated hope! Fervent anticipation! Millford ISD. Monroe ISD. Muppets ISD. You go to the window, unable to sit still, one eye on the tv. You pull back the curtains, lift the shade, look outside. Oh! So Beautiful! Black akimbo tree limbs shimmering silver against a sky slowly brightened from black to gray. In front of your eyes, the birth of a new day. Brown grass covered with ice, big flakes of snow flying sideways, and everything so quiet, wrapped in cotton, glossed and glazed. It's awesome, but not in the way you usually use the word. You breathe a tiny wreath on the window.

And then an epiphany, quiet but jarring, breaking into this moment: there is more to the world, to life, to us all, than just ourselves. There are miracles out there everyday, and sometimes all we have to do to witness them is just...shut up for a minute.

"Look baby, look! That's us! No school today! It's a snow day!"

You run to your mom and throw yourself in her arms, and the two of you do a crazy tango, in the tv light, in the magnificent ecstacy of a world that offers unexpected possiblity and optimism, even in darkness.

Snow days are the shit.
******************** BLOG BONUS: Snow Joke!!!!*******************
What did one snowman ask the other snowman?
Does it smell like carrots to you?
Get it?!

Sunday, January 18, 2009


I can't believe that old dude didn't even call me. I'm going to hook up with some 78 year old and show Mr. Old Jangles what he's missing!

Click for classic song of vengeance:

Saturday, January 17, 2009

New Year's Wishes

Here are some new year's wishes for my faithful fans:

May you never lose sight of your rock and roll fantasy.

May your chickens always lay golden eggs.
May you find love in unexpected places.

May you always take pride in a job well done.

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

this chick's en fuego!

Tonight I went with some friends to see a movie and have a bite to eat. An elderly man sat next to me in the theater, and I settled into the movie, which I liked. It was about the seduction of a gawky, bookish 15 year old boy by an illiterate, possibly semi-retarded ex-Nazi prison guard in her late 30's. During the seduction sequences, I couldn't help thinking thoughts that were, well, inappropriate, being that the boy was pre-pubescent and all. However, I have always been a sucker for eager fumbling and an unflagging willingness to learn, so who am I to deny my nature? Anyway, after the movie, the gentleman to my right asked if I had enjoyed it. We got to talking about the film and I found him interesting, so I asked if he wanted to join me and my friends for dinner. He seemed happy to, and I felt glad that we had met him and been able to invite him.

By the end of the night, I had given my phone number to an 80 year old racist from New York City by way of LA, who, after finding out that I teach in a predominantly Hispanic high school, told me that the reason Mexicans are unable to assimilate in the U.S., nor add anything of value to American culture, is because "they have lazy minds."

Yeah, I still got it goin' on! Dudes DIG me! I think our song will be "Old Man Gristle", an adaptation I'm working on from the famous musical "Showboat". More on this love connection as it develops.

Sunday, January 11, 2009

New Year, New Blog

Hi there. It's me. I'm back after a brief sabbatical. Has it been two years already?! Time flies when you're not doing much! I haven't been blogging because I didn't think anything I had to say was really worth writing about; I mean every day I am interested, moved or amused, but I figured that if Iam going to write, especially in a forum that is made for people to read, I should at least be doing something that is out of the ordinary, or that people other than myself might find worth reading. However, I'm nothing if not ordinary. And right now, I'm kind of in a rut. Who wants to read about that?
Well, I'll tell you who: I want YOU to read about the monotonous, dull, every day tedium of my life, and then I want YOU to praise ME for delivering it in a beautiful, fresh and meaningful way! I want you to think I am effervescent, fascinating, witty and tall! I want you to hang on my every word and go into your monotonous, dull, every day life thinking "Damn, I may be boring, but SHE is magnificent! So clever, so creative! I wish I could be THAT GIRL!" I think I will find myself scintillating if others tell me that I am. What's wrong with that? Everyone wants to be recognized for his/her unique qualities. Everyone wants praise. I am just more willing than most to beg for it.

This is my plan for this blog. If I have to, I will write comments to myself to get the ball rolling; I'm not proud.

Also, I liked writing my other blog. It made me look at the world in a new way, and reminded me of how much I like to take pictures. I felt like the blogging kept me sharp. Of course, then I had something to blog about, which made everything easier. This blog is a gamble. I may not even be interested in it. We shall see...