That's what she said!

Quotes:

My cousin Alisa, when talking about health care - "Come on, people! Can't we all just get a lung?"

"I believe in the sun, even when it isn't shining. I believe in love, even when not feeling it. I believe in God, even when he is silent."-Inscription on the wall where Jews were hiding from the Nazis.

"Many wealthy people are little more than janitors of their possessions."-Frank Lloyd Wright

"I am sitting in the smallest room of my house. I have your review before me. In a moment it shall be behind me." (Composer Max Reiger in response a critic's letter.) Think about it....think...there ya go!

Pereant, iniquit, aui ante nos nostra dixcrunt. (Confound those who have said our remarks before us.)

"In skating over thin ice, our safety is in our speed."

"The louder he talked of his honor, the faster we counted our spoons." -Ralph Waldo Emerson

"Everything that I have done in my life that was worthwhile, I've caught hell for." -Chief Justice Earl Warren

"I had a teacher named Clayford T. Grimm..."-my friend Charles, beginning a story

"Come on, Suckles!" - my friend Mark, urging the end of that story

"Mick Jagger is definitely a robot. They're doing some experimental shit on him for sure - head in a jar shit, I mean!" -,McAdams, on a road trip.

"Well, ok, life is beautiful! Au revoir!" -My mom, upon hanging up the phone with me.

"Yeah, men melt like butter for you. They melt like butter, and then they leave a greasy stain on whatever you're wearing." -Carole "Good Times" Claybour, when I was telling her about how the menfolk just can't get enough of me.

"The worst part of having pets is knowing they can't be with you for your entire life. The best part of having a pet is being with them for theirs." I may have gotten the wording wrong. My friend Lillie said something like this when we were having to euthanize our family dog, Lily. My favorite quotes are the ones like "Loose lips sink ships". I always mix them up and say them completely wrong but the point gets across somehow...."Don't throw stones on a glass boat?" "Hey, black kettle! Don't call me Pot." - From Emily, who is pretty in pink.

Got any more, blogsters? Bring it!

Is it just me?

I just read an article in Time magazine online about Sarah Palin's first big speech to an audience abroad, a group of investors in Hong Kong. Not too much is known about the content of the approximately 90 minute speech, because all press was banned, though people interviewed later said the oratory was heavy on a matter of a global interest: Alaska. Ms. Palin spoke of relevant Alaskan history, such as "Alaska's land bridges with Asia and how animals once went across."

I gotta say, I just loved this article. Read it yourself if you'd like: http://www.time.com/time/politics/article/0,8599,1925657,00.html The best part of it were the last lines: Shown a picture of Palin, a woman surnamed Ng, who operated a food stand near the Grand Hyatt, professed to not know who she was. "If she is rich and famous, then maybe she goes shopping nearby," said Ng from behind her counter. "Afterward, she can come eat my fishballs."

Sarah Palin can eat my fish balls. Classic, right?

Nobody Here But Us Icons!

I am famous. It is official. Don't hate, cybah-sistah! Don't blubber, blogga brotha! I'm sure you have some special little talents of your own.

Check this shizz out: http://poetryjabberwocky.blogspot.com/2009/08/my-big-adventure.html

P.S. I have no idea who wrote this. I can't keep up with all of my press. It's exhausting, really.

SUPERSTAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Like I Always Say, or "Whatchu talkin' bout, Willis?"

School is in session. In the words of countless 6th graders across our great nation, "School sucks." Be that as it may, I was pleasantly surprised this week when one of my favorite students, Cristal, used a C.S. Lewis quote in her introductory writing sample: "It may be hard for an egg to turn into a bird: it would be a jolly sight harder for it to learn to fly while remaining an egg. We are like eggs at present. And you cannot go on indefinitely being just an ordinary, decent egg. We must be hatched or go bad." What a great quote! Lewis also said, "Eros will have naked bodies; Friendship naked personalities." Classic. Also kind of hot, in a 6th grade kind of way.

Personally, I love a good quote. I like what they say about the person who speaks them, how they effect and are interpreted by the listener, truths they tell, and lies they spread. Andy Warhol said, "Art is what you can get away with." Carl Jung stated, "What we do not make conscious emerges later as fate."

Music inspires many good sayings. Huxley said, "After silence, that which comes nearest to expressing the inexpressible is music," while George Bernard Shaw observed that "Hell is full of musical amateurs." Elvis Presley said, "I don't know anything about music. In my line, you don't have to." My friend Reed defined his own work as " just another 3-chord, hate-filled song." This band of truly skanky girls I saw -I think their name was "Screamin' Lez"-opened their set with, "This song goes out to your asshole!" They went into their ballad, 'Sadness and Sorrow', which had the haunting refrain of "Eat my crusty heart." They had me at 'asshole'. My friend Pat said, "I've thought about this for years, and the best name for a band I can come up with is 'Awesome Boner'. First impressions are key." Paul McCartney, famed lyricist, had a huge hit with these words: "Someone's knocking at the door. Somebody's ringing the bell. Do me a favor - open the door. Let him in." Truer words were never spoken.

Sometimes I don't understand quotes, but I like them anyway. Regina Spekter warns, "Beware of the weak; they'll inherit your legs." Dorothy Parker, a woman I usually find to be utterly sensible, wrote, "While there are hands above the table, there's hope." Hope of what? I can only speculate. My four year old niece says that "women are ladybugs; boys are fungus." She may have a point there. My mom once gleefully proclaimed, "I was an oyster and the world was mine!" Bravo, Mom! You are the Alexander the Great of oysters, no doubt! I wrote down this quote by my friend Scheleen: "My mind's all full of hog; I can't think!" Swine Flu? Mad Pig Disease? It probably made sense at the time, but even if it didn't, I like to use it in casual conversation whenever I can.

Actually, I have made a couple of other people's quotes my own, but they are mostly nasty. Queens of the Stone Age sum up a feeling I know all to well when they say, "Ain't no glory this side of the hole." A friend of mine told me a story about something David Lee Roth said at a gig before launching into a famous Van Halen cover song, "Ice Cream Man." I forget the quote exactly (that happens a lot), but it goes a little something like this: "There are only two flavors of ice cream: vanilla, and dick!" (That's pretty funny, but now that I write it down, I think I may have gotten this one mostly wrong. Whatev! Who reads this much of the post anyway?) This leads me to my next favorite quote that I have stolen. In the tv show 'Weeds', Kevin Nealon's character is upset because he is faced with doing some serious jail time. Worried, he begins to think out loud. "I can't got jail," he moans. "There's no sushi in jail - unless you count dick!" Maybe I just like to say the word 'dick'.

The only quote I use that I actually made up myself is: "Life may not be long, but it sure can be wide." I think it's real deep.

Anyhoo, here's the third Writer's Challenge: SEND IN YOUR QUOTES! They can be famous or infamous, yours or someone else's, inspirational, profound, enigmatic or ridiculous. If you don't send some in, I'll write more. I got a million of 'em.

BONUS: Check out the "Blog of "Unnecessary" Quotation Marks, which is where I got the picture at the top of this post, and then used "by permission". http://www.unnecessaryquotes.com/

Cool cyber-places

Here are some cool cyber-places to visit:
1. http://www.helpingstepbystep.blogspot.com This blog is by a 14 year old kid, David Ashby, who is walking from Orlando, Florida to Washington, DC, over the summer. For those of you counting, that's 1,100 miles. He's doing this because he wants to bring attention to homeless youth in America, and so he is not only walking the walk, he's living the life. He is only eating what he find on the streets, and he is staying in shelters. As a teacher, I am so impressed by this kid. As a human, I am humbled by him and the commitment of his friends and family. Try to check this one out before Aug. 15th.
2. http://puteraaladin.blogspot.com This site is dedicated to graphic design. It has some cool videos and interesting things. Some of them are totally over my head; what's GIMP?
3. http://poetryjabberwocky.blogspot.com This blog is funny! The writer is an American in England, who uses a poetry form to talk about what is going on in her life or things she is currently pondering.
4. http://newpages.com This site and its blog are all about independent magazines, literary journals, bookstores, and record labels, and the blog has a lot of stuff about writing contests and programs. Way cool if you are into that stuff.
5. www.etsy.com Don't know about etsy yet? Unbelievable! It is a huge site where people sell all kinds of stuff that they make themselves. Remember, my birthday is just around the corner!
6. http://a.parsons.edu/~dezsoa This woman is an artist who teaches at Parsons. I think she's fabulous.
7. http://foundmagazine.com Outstanding! If you haven't already, you must check this out!
8. http://engrish.com From Denichiwa, our Japanese correspondent.
9. http://www.flickr.com/explore/interesting/7days Maybe it's just me; I love this site and can get lost on it for hours...
10. http://informationnation.blogspot.com One of those blogs chock full o'stuff; it has some funny videos and weird/amusing/interesting photos...

I know of some other interesting sites, but they are secrets. Sorry!

Silver balls

Nothing says, "Hey world! Look at me! I'm a big dick!" like attaching a shiny, silver ball-sack to your ridiculously oversized truck.

An unrelated post-script: Happy Birthday, Harvo! I love you!

Witnessed

So, remember way back in June when I posed Writer's Challenge #2? It had to do with writing about something that had been witnessed; the form of the piece was left open. I gotta say, though several of you said you were excited about this challenge, I wasn't exactly flooded with responses; however, since this was only the second one offered, I guess technically it is the second most popular EVER in Smaller Adventure history, so YAY!!!! Keep up the good work, peeps!

The staff here at the blog was delighted to receive three cool witness poems, and so, in no particular order, here they are:

Mary Pierce Armstrong said...
motes float in the gray ray

from the bench, a scowl

turkey neck folds dip and bob

a nod, quick and bored

the witness approaches with downcast gaze

her fingers outline a blur with vibration

oath taken

seat taken

time taken

I become the hostile witness
July 31, 2009 11:45 AM

Alisa R. said...
Mathematical Witness

Simple Tuesday carpool

Is there a math quiz today?

Staring out the window I see him

minus all clothing

plus 1 tangent man part

divided cheeks as he leans over to get the newspaper

adding to my knowledge

but multiplying my wonder.

Did I really see that?
August 2, 2009 5:57 PM

The Forest. RIP. Jan. 24/09
By Liliane Richman

The forest resisting
arching and groaning
under the rush of violent winds
succumbed to the last tree
each mature pine falling
embracing its neighbor
the crush of branches
littering of giants on the ground.

“You should have heard the howling,”
says my dear Paulette.

“The forest is dead.
Killed by a roaming cyclone
imported by global warming.”

Paulette is 82 years old
lives alone and walks with a slow shuffle.
She had no water for a week
no electricity for two
no telephone, no television.
She was cold and stayed in bed all day

And wishes she were younger
to move from her ancestral home
far from this desolation.
“You know how
how long it takes
to regrow such tall pines?"


Ah, Paulette, I’m with you
mourning for the forest, the ferns,
the sap, the deep silence, the cicadas
the pines are cut through
a long incision near the bottom of the trunk

the amber colored resin
collecting in a clay pot
sent to the one existing factory
the commercial hub
of the townlet in its heyday
when you father was CEO

Once upon a time it was
Nineteen forty-two
I appeared in your family
grew up and thrived
and departed again
then returned year after year
as late as last summer
surrounded by you
and the forest

of tall pines that died
on January twenty four
two thousand and nine.