Furthermore, if rumors of his mafia-like,vindictive, litigious handlers turn out to be true, let me clarify; I was not even writing about the fair-haired phenom Justin Bieber! Not at all! I know that the post said that's who I was talking about, but that was just a typo. You can't sue me for not proofreading, right? Hell, I don't even bathe! I was actually talking about someone you don't know; she's not famous and not even a boy. Her name is Justine Beiber, and sometimes I just like to write about her Beiber beaver. Is that so wrong?
So anyway, what meant to say is, I have a friend who works at a hotel, and he said that Justine Beiber stayed there and hired a ho. Apparently, she was interested in a prostitute with windswept, Beiber-blown hair. Several people (may or may not have) showed up, even some celebrities (or celebrity look-alikes, or not even celebrities at all. Some of them may or may not have worked at Starbucks. I don't know, and I have no malicious intent.) Here are some pictures allegedly taken on the ho-cam at the ho-tel:
Sexy, right? I would have paid extra for any of these hirsute harlots. I especially like the one who may or may not look like a lady whose name rhymes with "Godzilla Porker-Gnomes", on account of I like how eager she is to show off her Beiber-do. Beiber-do-me-right, right?! Yeah, she wants me...I mean, she wants Justine. Anyway, according to my source, who may or may not be a figment of my imagination, Justine went for this guy, the uber-hottie Baby Boy 87 Zevran Sierra, a sim-star in his own virtual universe:
Grrrr! Baby Boy Zevran looks like a sweetie, but he's a real nasty minx! In the Smelly Pages, which is a listing of all things stanky, B.B. Ate Sev-Zev, as I like to call him, is described as "... a suave young boy with windswept hair. He had brown eyes and brows which made him looked [sic] perpetually frightened and scared." Dang y'all! How hot is that?! Sounds kind of like a man-child we all know who is comin' atcha with a new 3-D biopic, on screens in a theater near you later this month, right? But it gets better still; BB87z has an identical twin, Baby 86 Giovanni Sierra! Double my pleasure, double my fun! Can I get a discount if I double my order? (Seriously, you must check this out! I didn't know things like this really existed!
Anyway I digress. And change font. My point is: Threes of people read this blog every day, and it has been made clear to me that I should watch my virtual tongue. I do not wish to be hurtful or unkind to anyone, even if he is a star, or if he is twelve (but built like an eleven year old), or if he pays for sweet, sweet love. It's none of my business, and I don't want to perpetuate myths, lies or rumors.
But really, I have nothing better to do. I'm bored and snowed-in. So I'll probably speak ill of someone again, because I'm not really a nice person.
Please don't sue me.
And also, I don't take back anything I said about that douchebag Custer. He had it coming.